Doctor update 2

First off, please pray for my dad, who is going through recovery from back surgery. Pray that whatever infections and issues are handled quickly. Thanks!

I went to my neurologist to get a follow-up on two MRIs and blood work.
The good news- no blood disorders and nothing that stands out. Everything looks great on paper when it comes to the blood work. My carotid artery looks good and no issues seem to be present.

It's been almost three years since my last MRI which showed my main stroke damaged area and one spot in another area. This is the part that has been hard to take. I've had nine more small strokes sometime in the last three years. I had no idea as there is no physical change that we can tell. I'm still having other issues so it might be that my brain tries to re-write the connections and I have an episode that I cannot see so the connection is not form. However, as much as I can speculate, I will not.

So still no explanation except that I must watch my blood pressure and loose weight. Perhaps another opinion is best so going to speak with my primary care about the findings.

I admit I'm saddened and it's scarey. I'm young, 38, but whatever is going on, God knows. Please pray for me and my family, my husband and daughter. Thanks!

Doctor updates

August was a busy month. Here are some updates:
Sleep Study - In 2005 I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and was severe enough to be placed on a cpap machine which I admit was not fun nor did I use it as much as I should have at the time. I was lucky and highly suggest not doing what I did and follow all doctor instructions. The latest study shows some sleep issues but I'm no longer having the severe sleep apnea. I have moderate snoring and my issues come about when sleeping on my back. Treatment- sleep on side and continue to loose weight, use a nasal spray at night.

Thankful that I have improved with 30lb loss and no longer needing a machine to help me sleep/breathe.

MRI's - had 2 MRI's done the week of the 12th of august. They went fairly fast and the techs were really helpful and pleasant.

Blood work - went to see a Hematologist and wish he could be my regular doctor. He paid attention and asked several questions along with having a sense of humor that went along with me and my family. I had several tests done (14 vials of blood) on the 23rd of August. The office called and said that my tests were negative! and they are forwarding the results to my neurologist.

I go to the neurologist on the 17th of September to discuss the MRI's and the findings of all tests.

Thanking God for all things and know He is in control!

Thankful

Thank you for the comments, emails, prayers and requests. I'm thankful for a better day today. Updates in the coming weeks about all the tests and appointments. I have blood-work appointment this Friday for some special tests (Gene analysis, lupus, protein, etc) to see if any other issues I may have that might have an idea of why I had my stroke. Please pray for answers. Several doctors think it may be more then just the high blood pressure especially since this has been an issue since my teen years.
I leave this in God's hands.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.

 The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything,

 but in everything by prayer

 and supplication with thanksgiving

 let your requests be made known to God.

  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

 will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,

 whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

 whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence,

 if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." 

Philippians 4:4-8 

Not Good with Words

There are days that struggle seems to be all that happens or can be what is focused on more.

Grief - it comes and goes. While not the same situations or even loss, or how life is handled, this article I found really pinpointed some clarity of dealing with grief and words or what can be done. "what to say when there is nothing to say" Take a moment and read the article by Sarah or book mark for later. May it be helpful.


When the days are good, at least as they can be, and there is much positive words, so wonderful to have those days. However, even at almost 4 years since the stroke, there are many days, weeks or slight moments here or there, the loss of my right side tends to be overbearing. The tears flow, the memories invade my mind and I have to refocus.

Yes, I'm getting some function back but it doesn't stay around as much as I would like or the feeling in my right side changes, some good, some painful, but it's not back full time. I try to explain what my body is doing but the words don't come out right and then there are more tears.

The words are not there, to explain, to say what I need or feel I need or even the words come out wrong. To say what I want done around the house or what puts me at ease. Sometimes, I'm not good with words.

Spending Time Part 1

Summer is getting closer to an end and a new season is among us. New school class for daughter and an ending class for husband with a new class in September. Weather will still have some hot times but it won't be long and cooler weather will come and go. As some know from reading my blog, we have gone through many seasons. For me, we are back to several doctor visits, neurology, blood work, 2 MRI's next week and more follow-up visits.

I had to change Neurologists because my previous doctor is no longer in the area or no longer practicing. I'm not sure so off to a new doctor. Having a new doctor can be a good thing at times.  For once I have a doctor who wants to find out why I had a stroke in the first place. Most have just blamed my high blood pressure but this doctor is not agreeing. So I will have another MRI and a more detailed look at my brain. (not going to go into specifics until later) Also in coming weeks, blood tests to check to see if I have any blood disorders.

So we are spending time with our daughter. More tomorrow. Next week will be busy.


A reminder to all Elders and young pastors but also good words for all Christians. Many times we are told to humble ourselves and share our anxieties and burdens with the Lord. 
From my reading today of 1 Peter:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV

What now?

Here we are at almost the end of January but still at the beginning of the new year, 2013. A new season is upon us and change in schedules. My husband started school for an IT degree and so now he is gone for various times and days. All last year, he was with me almost always unless he went to do an errand and I didn't go with him. When he was in the Air Force he was gone all day long and yes, I admit, I missed my time alone. In a sense, this change is not new but we are in a different place since he worked and I'm at a different stage of recovery. So this is a change but I'm looking forward to having time alone in the house.

I don't get all day but at least I have a few hours that I can do the things I want in my time or I can attempt to challenge myself, safely, to do activities around the house. I am doing more but still not as much as I would like to do. I'm become braver at working in the kitchen. I've come to realize and admit that having a stroke is no playground of fun trying to revamp my body to do what is natural. I'm still having issues but I can do this!, whatever "this" may be at the time.

What now? has been a question on my mind the last few weeks. However, my thoughts of exercise all day and do all that I've been taught at therapy, my thoughts have changed. My alone time has been nothing really of the kind but has consisted of reading God's Word and studying. Then having breakfast, which is my morning challenge. I try to stick to simple but filling. Takes me a good bit of time getting the Greek yogurt and apple out of the refrigerator and then cutting the apple with the apple slicer, corer gadget. Oh and a drink and taking all the items to my desk in the living room. Then I can rest and have a nice morning reading blogs, sermons, Facebook and whatever I come across. By the time I'm finished it's almost Noon because I probably didn't really start my morning until 9:30 or 10am.

This past week I had the privilege to watch the Truth & Life Conference 2013: Word of God at The Master's College in Santa Clarita, California. The speakers were: Dr. John MacArthur, president of The Master's College and pastor-teacher at Grace Community Church and Grace To You Ministry; Dr. Mark Dever, senior pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington D. C. and president of 9Marks Ministries; and Dr. Sinclair Ferguson, senior minister at First Presbyterian Church of Columbia, South Carolina and Professor of Systematic Theology at Redeemer Theological Seminary.
There is so much I could say but to make it short, and maybe another post later, we studied the Word of God. The whole bible points to Jesus as Savior and Lord, our center. The Old Testament shows us who God is, how He interacts with people and His promises, among other interesting topics. The New Testament shows us Jesus' life and about Christian living plus other also interesting topics. As Dr. Ferguson said in one of his sessions, "Soak in God's Word."

Thanking God for His grace and mercy, the Lord Jesus Christ for when we repent and turn from our sin, He is faithful to forgive and thankful for the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

Comfort

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.  

Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.  

And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation."

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

 

2-week Evaluation (Physical Therapy)

Today marked 2nd week of therapy for this round and they did an evaluation. In my first evaluation I scored a 41 out of 56 points. I did great on the standing still portion but the balance/moving area I needed improvement. I have done exercises every day with stretches and either therapy sessions or bike pedals on alternating days. In today's evaluation I scored a 46 out of 56. My goal was a 3 point change but ended with a 5 point gain. I've had increased feeling in my right side over the last 2 weeks and loosening of my tight muscles. I'm so excited that there are changes happening.

Today we also introduced the single prong cane and I will try to use this around the house more. I did not have any problems using the one at therapy. We also used the Bioness L300 to stimulate my right knee and leg muscles to help with my walking (gait) and toes to lift higher. WOW!! I'm shocked literally but also shocked in how my leg and foot responded. When we were setting the equipment up I had to go through different wavelengths and positions so I had some intense sensations and sometimes my foot would turn right and quick. When my therapist would turn the setting off my foot would then snap back to center. My husband, daughter, and I all laughed several times whenever my foot was turned and then released. Too funny but I thank the Lord that my muscles were responding to the stimulation.

I then was asked to walk around the area and what a big change! I was walking so much better and my steps were definitely changed from my regular steps. We were so amazed at the response and it felt wonderful. I then walked in the parallel bar area with a mirror to practice more with my spacing of my steps. We will continue stimulating and my next goals for walking are with single prong and then no cane. Even after taking the system off my leg, I still could feel the difference. I pray that this continues. Thank you Lord for this new season!

Getting Better

Counting - 30 seconds, 20 seconds or even 5 seconds; 1 - 5, 10 or even 20 - all the different values that are said or thought during the different stretching exercises. There are stretches for laying down, sitting and standing and with that different value of how many, how long to hold and how many times per session.This is just the beginning to the physical therapy world. Stretches help our muscles so we have the correct posture and ability to do the normal activities like walking and exercises. Even when I have therapy three days a week I still must do stretches and exercises to help maintain and improve how my muscles react. One of the issues I have are some really tight muscles. The stretches help relieve the tension which helps movement have an easier time. If you are not into exercising or at least walking, having a stroke or any illness, fall, break, ok anything can have a shock factor. Before my stroke I did not do any exercise continuous and now, ugh, I have a hard time even with my left side that did not have any issues due to my stroke. Now I wish I had went to gym, exercised, walked, whatever but I'll get there!

Today was day 4 of PT (Physical Therapy) and day 2 of OT (Occupational Therapy). Lots of walking, NuStep machine walking, and working with parallel bars with different objects for balance, hand exercises from weight-bearing (putting pressure, force on my affected hand and arm) to the smaller finger pickup exercises. I'm in a new place but similar types of equipment and exercises but there is a difference. I'm now at a point where I want to work out. I want those exercises and get this body working. I want to get better so I can help others in person and not just online but to include both areas. Now more than ever I want the light of Jesus to shine and do not want to waste any opportunity that comes my way to share the hope, joy and peace that comes with being a child of God. My heart breaks when I see, hear or read that others are going through illness especially those with Stroke illnesses and disabilities. I thank the Lord for allowing me a second chance here at learning His Word but also to have my eyes open to the people around me that He loves. Jesus never said His way is easy. No matter what happens, may it all be to His glory and honor.

"Give unto the Lord, O you mighty ones,
Give unto the Lord glory and strength.

Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name;
Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."

Psalm 29:1-2

"And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan."

Luke 17:15-16  

Have a great week!

June Update

An update of sorts. As a family we are working on unpacking and dealing with bugs (spiders, ants and whatever else shows up) in our rental home. I'm not fully able to do household chores so I've tried to direct my husband and daughter how to do tasks that I would have normally took on myself. I've had to learn to not be so picky and let them learn how to do daily tasks. Letting go has not been easy and frustration creeps in when I look around. Tasks unfinished and so I try to do them or I end up complaining that I'm being ignored. I know there are things that they want to do and things I want to do but order is what I'm needing. Cleaning is not fun but as I know, having a clean ordered home makes for several days of enjoyment.

My blood pressure has been lower (95-115/ 58-76) and at times I have wanted to just sleep the day away. We lowered my medicine and for the past week I have been feeling better. We also changed two other meds a few weeks ago and so far doing well with no major side effects.I won't know how things are really going until August when have blood tests and doctor visits. I will also finally get to see a neurologist and hopefully get some therapy started to help focus on my issues. I'm still having issues of: balance, lack of feeling or full feeling, muscles spasms and tightness, pain mainly in shoulder/back, right hand function. Most of the issues go together or affect each other. With some feeling or lack of feeling, makes tasks harder like walking, exercises and fine motor function. I have almost full range of arm but small tasks with hand need work. I have a lot of pins and needles sensation and we are trying to work on my feeling. Almost every day my husband will mess with my hand and arm. He will touch different areas and ask me what do I feel when not looking. This activity exercises my brain and requires me to think about what is going on. Part of recovering is to have repetitive sessions of feeling activities. I'm hoping that one day I will not only feel in muscles but the outside skin feeling also. We have seen small improvements in my hand and fingers. I now can almost tell which finger he is pulling on. Walking is still a work in process. I feel different muscles and every day something different but I am starting to feel my heel. We are hoping that these small improvements continue showing.

I'm not getting out as much as I was when we first moved here. I wish I could say that I could just up and go but that is not how I am. I have issues in the morning with waking up and my throat. Another issue that came after having the stroke but not for almost a year. Then my pills, one with two meals and one for breakfast and one for dinner. A new routine (one has to be 30 minutes before two meals) started a month ago that we are finally getting used to me taking but still can be a pain. I have to use my tray for some to make sure I have taken them because I forget very easily.

Not a full update but that's just part of what we are doing. I thank the Lord for every day that is given to me. I'm reading my bible all the way through for the first time. I'm a little more than half way but every day is great to read a few chapters and think about what God has said. I'm in the book of Isaiah and just recently read chapter 53. Written before Jesus but about Him. Read it sometime.

May you have a wonderful weekend.

May 28, 2012

Lovely view from Melbourne Beach, Florida

Hi my friends! I hope all is well with you and if not, may you find relief, comfort, in the arms of the Lord. He is our refuge and strength. (Psalm 46)

Words have come and gone, quicker then I can write them down. So what are we doing lately? Not a whole lot. Our time has included spending time together as a family unit, learning to manage the changes from moving, the challenges of my daily care but also getting our medical started in a new place and then there is school and ending quite well for moving and dealing with new ways of schools and teachers.

We made changes to the rental house (put in a hand rail on side of bath tub and my chair, added a step in garage with a hand rail) so that I am a little at ease but still dependent again for a lot of things that I need to work on and to feel more independent. We have had a semi-rough transition but we will get there in time.

Part of this journey I'm dealing with - what am I doing, what am I to do and where do I fit in to society, community and even family. For the most part I have been studying/reading my bible and really eager to learn and change my ways which can be a real struggle but I know this process takes His help in learning His ways. I have used Facebook to increase my faith through prayer and reaching out to share Jesus' love with others. I struggle with jealousy at times because I'm not fully functional however I'm learning.

This month is stroke awareness month and I have the need to share with others the signs (include face drooping, loss of feeling/function of arms and legs, slurred speech, vision loss and blur) and the need to act quickly in getting help. I am not perfect so please forgive me for not writing sooner.

Please also pray for our nation and that the Lord have mercy on us. This is an important time for us here in America and we need to get back on track.

Many hugs to all!

The A word and others

All of a sudden your dreams and all the plans came to a screeching halt. Your body as you knew it is no longer the same. What you thought you could do was no longer what you were capable of doing. For me, at first, was amazement and in awe of what I was feeling (or not feeling) on the right side of my body. The shock was still present so I was going on as if nothing had really happened. That I would wake up from this horrible dream and learn what I needed to know going forward with a happy life as before. Shock and trying to listen to what the doctors, nurses and even those that were therapists, making objectives to be fun and should be back to normal in 6 months or so they thought because of my progression I had while in the first hospital. All this in 2 weeks - shock, sadness kicked in at night when I was alone after my fiance' had to go back to our state 6 hours away. I can do this I thought, whatever is thrown at me. Then the A word started to sneak in a few weeks later after coming back home to being stuck in another hospital. Anger - it's just beginning to peek from it's corner of the boxing ring.

Oh the first year was full of emotion but Anger really hit and hit hard the first 6 months and maybe longer. Even now I have to watch my temper and anxiety level when dealing with change and challenges. There are so many examples but they hurt too much. I was angry and screaming inside sometimes not understanding what was happening. I made messes, throwing things, hitting myself, letting whatever come out of my mouth just flow instead of biting my tongue, hurt others with words and really was not in a good place. I couldn't even form the right words to apologize even though inside I was hurting to stop and crying so much that I acted out so horribly. Even when I tried to apologize the words still screwed up. Oh how I wish things had not happened. I hope that one day those that I hurt will be able to forgive me fully and come to understand why I acted the way I did.

When something traumatic happens to your life or your body, so many emotions come flying at you from all over the place and not exactly at the same time. Those emotions and feelings were stronger than any other time before my stroke and trying to process everything that had happened has been hard at times. What I learned over the last two years and still learning cannot be easy to write. Some of those times were really dark and lonely but I never was alone. The light that shines from God's word has cleared away some of the darkness and I thank the Lord for allowing me this life here, for forgiveness of Sins and restoring of His relationship as well as others. God's word is truth and His desire for our lives. Jesus dealt with temptation including anger but He did not sin. Thank you Jesus for showing us that we can be angry but not sin.

"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest

 who has passed through the heavens,

 Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

  For we do not have a High Priest

 who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses,

 but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,

 that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:14-16

Spring Break

I hope all is well with you. This week we are having spring break for our public schools in our area. As much as I would like to plan some fun activities, we are still working on getting boxes unpacked and arranging items so I can help more. We are finding that Oklahoma schools are definitely not on same track as Florida schools. This week we are trying to catch up and help our daughter learn what she will need to know for Florida's FCAT (the testing that seems to have a major impact on whether they pass or fail). I am trying not to get frustrated that we just moved and this test is in a few weeks. We will see how it goes and keep praying that all works out so that our daughter will go to fourth grade this fall. She has never had a major test before now.

Our washer and dryer were delivered this morning. We went yesterday to pick a set out and so my challenge for the day was shower, dress, eat, take pills, get everyone out the door and go to the appliance store. Walking around is getting easier (some) but still working on timing. We walked in the store and immediately was greeted by a salesman. He showed us some models that were right in front. They weren't too expensive but still well over my budget. I was praying while I walked to "behind the curtain" that we would find something less expensive but workable for me. We did!  Praise God!

By the time we got to the counter my legs had already started a small pain but I knew this was temporary. We finalized the paperwork and in less than 24 hours we now have them in our garage. The guy hooked all the hoses and now I need to get our laundry started. Standing takes more out of me than walking. As long as I keep walking I do a little better but I know in time I will have more energy. Thanking God for the great weather and the ability to walk when I need to walk.
I do have some posts that I am working on writing. Some are hard to write but I want to share what I go through and help others understand.

I hope you have a great week/weekend! More later!

"Therefore we do not lose heart.

 Even though our outward man is perishing,

 yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment,

 is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

 while we do not look at the things which are seen,

 but at the things which are not seen.

 For the things which are seen are temporary,

 but the things which are not seen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NKJV

Balance (many different ways)

       When I was thinking about what to write about, the topic "balance" came to the front of my mind. This is an area that I struggle in during my recovery (even before my stroke). The first time I was asked to walk after I had my stroke was really scary for me. I lost all my feeling on my right side. I couldn't tell when anyone was touching me, my feet, my leg, my shoulder or even brushing my hair on my right side. I felt like I was split in two, right down the middle. So trying to get my right leg and foot to cooperate was a challenge. It took 3 people to help me up and stay with me. They tried a walker with me but my right hand would not hold on and my right foot kept turning on it's right side. I had to have my right hand strapped to the walker. I made a few steps and within a week I walked out of my room to the door of the room next door. It was not a pretty sight trying to walk and I had to use something to remind me to balance.
        Even now my balance can be off but luckily I use a 4-prong cane instead of a walker. I even have lucky days of walking around the house without my cane or just the single prong cane. I think I can do this! My right foot doesn't turn up on the right side anymore and if I concentrate I can move with ease. My gait, rate and way of movement, is slow and have to remind my foot "heel to toe" when walking forward. I am still missing a good part of feeling in my foot and leg. I have realized during my walks that I do better when I can tell the presence of my leg and foot. Knowing is half the battle and getting my muscles to not tighten up is the other. While I try to focus there is a lot going on in my mind, around me and that can make my balance and me come to a stop. Oh the things we don't even think about when we can just walk!

         The other part of balance is our way of life. I have to balance my time between family, friends and for myself. I struggled with time way before my stroke. Some days I was really selfish and wanted to do what I wanted instead of spending time with loved ones. Other days I let people and objects take up too much time. Balance in relationships are needed too. Not only for our health and needs but also for the other person. I struggle with communicating my needs especially social needs and health needs. I always could do what I needed before my stroke but not now.
        The biggest thing I missed out on before my stroke was God, spending time with Him and reading His word. I allowed the computer and cell phone to become more important then God. There were times that I pushed Him to the side and I thought I could do better. Now I want and need more balance in my life. I could not get where I am today without His love and forgiveness. To forgive myself too.

I leave this verse with you today.

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,

 and the truth is not in us.

 If we confess our sins,

 He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and

 to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

  If we say that we have not sinned,

 we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us."

1 John 1:8-10 (NKJV)

Chapters

The year is almost at a close and while I tend to want to look back, I am choosing to look forward. For our family we are coming to the end of a chapter in our lives. My husbands job is ending in January and we are moving. All the waiting for some decisions were made and final so new decisions, plans are now in front of us. This is where we are right now.
I'm looking forward to new adventures, new doors to open and continue on this healing journey. We are all looking forward to the warmer climate in Florida.

My time here blogging will be shorter than I would like but I wanted to give an update. We still have waiting to do, waiting on others to finalize paperwork, waiting on last appointments and waiting for housing door to open. On a happier note - we are seeing some progress with my muscles and healing from my dental surgery. I have lost 30 lbs and still going. Waiting on blood work to come back but had a good report from cardiologist - EKG good and he was happy to know I am working on loosing weight and seeing some progress.

I thank you all for reading and praying for me and my family. May God bless you now and in the coming months.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul;
         And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
         And forget not all His benefits:
 Who forgives all your iniquities,
         Who heals all your diseases,
 Who redeems your life from destruction,
         Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
         So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s" 

Psalm 103:1-5

Thanksgiving

A time for change is coming. The last few weeks have been busy with medical & dental appointments and visit from my mom. There were vacation times for my daughter and husband. (Of course at different weeks) So I have had lots of company every day.

I went to my neurologist appointment last week. Everything is progressing and my doctor was impressed with all that had improved in 6 months. I still have a ways but doing well. I did get a prescription for Baclofen to help my tight muscles and the spasms. We are still testing amounts and have seen some improvement with less pain and relaxing of my tighter muscles. Still have varying degrees of pain but in time, I think, the pain will lessen.

I also had a few dental visits - I'm embarrassed but I know that the doctors will take good care of me. I have several upcoming visits over the next few weeks to include removal of 4 back teeth and several filings. The combination of stroke side effects and bad past have brought me to this point but all is changing.

As far as waiting - I'm excited to what the future has in place with God's direction. The time is ending for us to be here so 1. base housing is no longer an option, 2. no longer waiting for an answer so now time is to move on and forward. My healing gives glimpses and I know that one day I will be fully healed. As far as when - only God knows. Now we have to decide where to move, when to move and what is provided in the move. More later...

As we get closer to when we have our Thanksgiving meal, we are choosing to be happy and look forward to spending time just us especially as a break/pause in all that goes around us. We will have our small feast with turkey, cornbread, dressing, and many vegetables. I can't leave out the pumpkin pie.
Thankful to the Lord Almighty God for providing what we have and need, for His peace as we make decisions and shedding light on changes that need to be made.

May you all be blessed in the coming days, weeks as we come to the end of this season/year!

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts,

to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”

Colossians 3:15

God bless,

Waiting

Hi friends. I do hope you all are doing well.

Waiting.. I have good patience most of the time but when it comes to the future, planning, I'm not great at just waiting. I want a plan, a purpose, a "to do" list, a dream to set in motion. Yes I am doing therapy stuff and using my frustrations to get me past challenges and succeeding most of the time in amazement but it's the future that is in a waiting period.

Waiting - that waiting list for base housing (already now at month 8) has been extended to an estimated 6-8 months

Waiting - for the healing process, the walking easily and using my right hand with ease

Now waiting - to see if my husband will be allowed to re-enlist in the military in January. This is not guaranteed so we are waiting. Another process. Which will eliminate the base housing if one decision is made but then opens so many more decisions and destinations.

I have to admit that waiting is hard. Sometimes there are tears - of sadness, of frustrations, of uncertainty BUT I turn to the Lord, taking to Him all that is bothering me, all that is on my mind. Asking for His desire for us, God's favor on my husband to stay, beat the odds if that is His desire for us to stay here in Oklahoma or give us the desire to be where He wants us to be so we will make the right decisions when the time comes. Thanking Him for all He provides for we are truly blessed.

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
         For my expectation is from Him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation;
         He is my defense;
         I shall not be moved.
 In God is my salvation and my glory;
         The rock of my strength,
         And my refuge, is in God.
        
 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
         Pour out your heart before Him;
         God is a refuge for us.  Selah

Psalm 62:5-8

Apartments and Strokes

This apartment is not made for the disabled but we make it work. Right after my stroke we talked a little bit on what changes needed to be made. At the time I was in a wheelchair and could barely walk and could not feel most of my right side. The wheelchair didn't work for me inside but we made do with what we had. The biggest thing rehab in the hospital taught me was how to go up and down the stairs so I could leave my apartment. Over the almost 2 years, whew November is approaching that mark, we have gone back and forth about our apartment. We could not change anything except a few things that could be changed back easily. The benefit for me is making do with what I had made me use what I have with my body, no matter how frustrating.
So what did we change?

The biggest thing is the shower and finally something I can do independently after 1 1/2 years. We had to include a shower chair and a hand held shower-head. Along we added a shower caddy that I got many years ago from a special lady, Josie who has gone to see the Lord. I never thought I would use it but sure came in handy when I needed it the most. Thank you!

We have had to change where food is in the refrigerator, for now. I'm still having stiff legs and makes hard for bending. Plus doesn't help that there is no close counter. So all my food for the day must be on top shelf or the door.
But there has been some light to me and we are seeing small progress between everything I do. The more independent I get, the more I want a new place on the first floor. I am thankful for all we have been through for it has made us all stronger, wiser and closer. But the most important, my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and the Almighty God has increased significantly. That's for another post.


I pray that you never go through anything like this so take care of yourself. However, if you do, know that you can make it! I am! God bless!

Every Day

Just doing every day things is therapy. The more I realize I am doing the more motivated I get. I'm still hit or miss on feeling sensation but the days that I feel more I get surprised and happy. To feel a muscle or defined movement=great!

Praising God!!

Where are we?

So it is September and fall is coming. Where are we?

The weather has been very crazy this year and even now we dealt with very high temperatures and then very low for our highs. At least this week is a constant 80's here unlike last weeks 100+ and 50's as our highs.

My muscles are acting up But, have had some good days and small progress. I am moving my right hand and arm more often. I still have tight muscles and stretching them everyday, as much as I can tolerate. I still need to motivate myself to try and do things around the apartment. Our cats make me work at playing and rubbing their soft fur. We have two toy birds that I get to work on picking up off the floor especially when they leave them in the way of my walking. The bending down and using right hand to pick the object off the ground is great exercise. I have even carried the cats from room to room on my left shoulder as a challenge to not use my cane and focus on balance. I am walking more without my cane, trying at least some everyday, and to go myself to get what I need instead of always asking family to help. I also got a laptop for the bedroom or anywhere I want to sit. The challenge is to use the mouse and type on the keyboard. I'm not always using my laptop because I am usually at my desktop in the living room but it is a nice change. I unloaded the dishwasher, most of it, with my left hand but great exercise for squats and stretching. I am happy to be able to help a little more around the house.

Family is doing well. Our daughter is adjusting to school and good grades. Husband is adjusting to changes at work. We are almost done with some issues but have a few more weeks. Waiting and leaving it to our mighty Lord but prayers are so helpful!

Losing weight - 16 lbs so far. I had almost a month of not loosing any but! I didn't gain either. I am slowly making changes but I never feel like I starve and still get to eat a lot of my favorites just moderation and not everyday as I once did months ago. I am finding that I actually like less sweet and more vegetables and meat. Sweets taste yucky and no more regular soda too! I still need a few more vegetables and fruits through out the week but overall doing great.

Are you reading in God's Word and what are you reading? I am reading with a Chronological plan of God's Word the Bible. I just finished the book of Job and what a wonderful book with many lessons. One major lesson is that God is mighty and commander of all, even the weather. (Job 38-42) Read it or even the whole book of Job, it is not very long. Praise the Lord for His teachings!

Then Job answered the LORD and said:

  “I know that You can do everything,
      And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You."

Job 42:1-2