Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Wow! It's November!

Where did the time go? Last time I wrote was back in August. I had just started a new season of therapy. At that time I was walking with a 4-prong cane and barely getting around my duplex. I was not doing dishes and rarely went in the garage. I left almost all the cleaning to my husband and 99% of the food preparation/cooking. I didn't think I could manage with a right side that was not functioning in holding items or walking. Sure I get out and about but no where near what I did before my stroke. After my time was up at therapy, I'm doing so much more and have to watch it or I do too much.

I'm walking around the house about 90% of the time without any assistance - No Cane, or walker or anything - maybe a wall or door from time to time but thank the Lord! Outside I use a single prong cane and still working up the courage to walk unassisted. Yes I still have issues with my muscles and swelling in feet/legs but I'm walking and doing better as time goes on. I still need to work on my energy and getting out to church on Sunday. Please pray that my anxiety goes away being around people and that my brain will function when around crowds. Like I said, my energy is not the best and some days even just going and walking, end up in pain in my right foot and lower back. Please pray that we can get in a better routine.

I'm using my right hand more and some feeling coming back. I thank God for all He has given me! I cooked macaroni and cheese and brownies in therapy. Now to apply what I did, at home. Difficult to process what I'm doing at times and how to manage around our kitchen. I did make a moist chocolate cake, for my daughter's birthday, that I did everything except put in the oven. The cake was so yummy that by the next day it was all gone between family. I've even fixed a few plates for my family at meals and took plates from living room to kitchen. A work in progress but I'm happy to try and keep at it!

Other things that have happened the last few months - I had a severe stomach illness in September/early October, that lasted for 4 weeks. Praises for giving the right meds and good doctor to check on my stomach area to rule out other possibilities. I admit that I had doubts about what we needed to do but God was right there watching over me, my fever and the pain.
My husband still looking for work. Praise that the unemployment was continued. Praise that he is able to go to college starting in January, still waiting on GI Bill confirmation but thankful for whatever God gives us during this time. We are trusting Him for provision for what we need. The unemployment will stop at the end of the year or sooner if work is found.
My husband had a small wreck in August and the car still needs to be fixed. We are saving up and almost have enough. Praising God for the safety of both my husband and the other driver and passenger. That neither party was charged and insurance has paid, now to get the damage fixed. Please pray nothing happens while we get our funds together.

Whew long post - Thanks for reading. I hope you all have a good week. For those that celebrate Thanksgiving, a wonderful Thursday and a happy, thankful day. May God bless you all.

Friday, August 17, 2012

TSMSS - How Deep The Father's Love

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” 
John 3:16-21

How Deep The Father's Love For Us by Selah

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

2-week Evaluation (Physical Therapy)

Today marked 2nd week of therapy for this round and they did an evaluation. In my first evaluation I scored a 41 out of 56 points. I did great on the standing still portion but the balance/moving area I needed improvement. I have done exercises every day with stretches and either therapy sessions or bike pedals on alternating days. In today's evaluation I scored a 46 out of 56. My goal was a 3 point change but ended with a 5 point gain. I've had increased feeling in my right side over the last 2 weeks and loosening of my tight muscles. I'm so excited that there are changes happening.

Today we also introduced the single prong cane and I will try to use this around the house more. I did not have any problems using the one at therapy. We also used the Bioness L300 to stimulate my right knee and leg muscles to help with my walking (gait) and toes to lift higher. WOW!! I'm shocked literally but also shocked in how my leg and foot responded. When we were setting the equipment up I had to go through different wavelengths and positions so I had some intense sensations and sometimes my foot would turn right and quick. When my therapist would turn the setting off my foot would then snap back to center. My husband, daughter, and I all laughed several times whenever my foot was turned and then released. Too funny but I thank the Lord that my muscles were responding to the stimulation.

I then was asked to walk around the area and what a big change! I was walking so much better and my steps were definitely changed from my regular steps. We were so amazed at the response and it felt wonderful. I then walked in the parallel bar area with a mirror to practice more with my spacing of my steps. We will continue stimulating and my next goals for walking are with single prong and then no cane. Even after taking the system off my leg, I still could feel the difference. I pray that this continues. Thank you Lord for this new season!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Getting Better

Counting - 30 seconds, 20 seconds or even 5 seconds; 1 - 5, 10 or even 20 - all the different values that are said or thought during the different stretching exercises. There are stretches for laying down, sitting and standing and with that different value of how many, how long to hold and how many times per session.This is just the beginning to the physical therapy world. Stretches help our muscles so we have the correct posture and ability to do the normal activities like walking and exercises. Even when I have therapy three days a week I still must do stretches and exercises to help maintain and improve how my muscles react. One of the issues I have are some really tight muscles. The stretches help relieve the tension which helps movement have an easier time. If you are not into exercising or at least walking, having a stroke or any illness, fall, break, ok anything can have a shock factor. Before my stroke I did not do any exercise continuous and now, ugh, I have a hard time even with my left side that did not have any issues due to my stroke. Now I wish I had went to gym, exercised, walked, whatever but I'll get there!

Today was day 4 of PT (Physical Therapy) and day 2 of OT (Occupational Therapy). Lots of walking, NuStep machine walking, and working with parallel bars with different objects for balance, hand exercises from weight-bearing (putting pressure, force on my affected hand and arm) to the smaller finger pickup exercises. I'm in a new place but similar types of equipment and exercises but there is a difference. I'm now at a point where I want to work out. I want those exercises and get this body working. I want to get better so I can help others in person and not just online but to include both areas. Now more than ever I want the light of Jesus to shine and do not want to waste any opportunity that comes my way to share the hope, joy and peace that comes with being a child of God. My heart breaks when I see, hear or read that others are going through illness especially those with Stroke illnesses and disabilities. I thank the Lord for allowing me a second chance here at learning His Word but also to have my eyes open to the people around me that He loves. Jesus never said His way is easy. No matter what happens, may it all be to His glory and honor.

"Give unto the Lord, O you mighty ones,
Give unto the Lord glory and strength.
Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name;
Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."
Psalm 29:1-2

"And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan."
Luke 17:15-16  

Have a great week!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Therapy and August

I need a camera so I can bring you some pictures of the great places here around our area of Florida. We make comments about the different areas we have lived and how weather was for us in Oklahoma the last 3 years. The differences can make an impact in how we live and what we can accomplish. Therapy depends on, a good amount of the time, what type of weather condition is in the area. I wrote about it last year here . If we weren't having good weather I was not going to attempt therapy or even go outside.

The weather here in Florida has had really good times even if hot and humid. I've enjoyed the times that I'm going out which has increased since I wrote here. We started going to church more often and helping with WCIF 106.3 "Where Christ Is First" Radio Station with their monthly newsletter. I even got to place the donuts stickers on several using my right hand to peel the sticker and left hand to place. Progress in the midst of serving! Praise The Lord!

Today started new therapy with an evaluation from a physical therapist. There were several exercises to gauge where I am at and have a new starting point to continue progress. I do well with the standing still exercises but having to change stance or position I had a harder time. I'm still at a risk of falling but that means I get more therapy that will continue to increase balance and moving. We will also get more stretching exercises which I'm really looking forward to learning.

I thank the Lord for my biggest progress earlier this week, walking around my daughter's school to get her registered, small sits here and there but mainly standing and walking to the different stations and from the car and back, for 40 minutes! Usually by 15-20 minutes I have to take a break but not this time, I made it! My daughter had a good day today too as her first day of school!

More later - Therapy again on Friday.

In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.
 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 62:7-8

Friday, August 3, 2012

TSMSS - There Will Be A Day

"Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea.  Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:1-4

There Will Be A Day performed by Jeremy Camp

Amen!! I cannot wait for that day! No more sadness, crying and pain. A day where God will be with us and dwell with us. Thank you Jesus for being the way, the truth and the life! (John 14:6)

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

TSMSS - People Need the Lord

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” John 3:16-21

"Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted. And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen." Matthew 28:16-20

People Need the Lord performed by Jaime Jorge

Words by Greg Nelson and Phil McHugh 1984
Everyday they pass me by,
I can see it in their eye.
Empty people filled with care,
Headed who knows where?

On they go through private pain,
Living fear to fear.
Laughter hides their silent cries,
Only Jesus hears.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize --people need the Lord?

We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right.
What would be too great a cost
For sharing life with one who's lost?

Through His love our hearts can feel
All the grief they bear.
They must hear the words of life
Only we can share.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize that we must give our lives,
For people need the Lord.
People need the Lord.

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

Friday, July 20, 2012

TSMSS - Praise You in this storm

Praise You in this storm performed by Casting Crowns 

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
 From whence comes my help?
 My help comes from the Lord,
 Who made heaven and earth.
 Psalm 121:1-2

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

The Lord Hears

 "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry.
 The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:15-18

"But I am poor and sorrowful;
Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high.
 I will praise the name of God with a song,
And will magnify Him with thanksgiving.
 This also shall please the Lord better than an ox or bull,
Which has horns and hooves.
 The humble shall see this and be glad;
And you who seek God, your hearts shall live.
 For the Lord hears the poor,
And does not despise His prisoners." Psalm 69:29-33

 "The Lord is far from the wicked,
But He hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29

May we come into His presence, seeking Him and knowing that He hears our cries and prayers. May we confess any sin in our lives to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. No matter what you are going through, come to the Lord, He hears.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Saturday, June 30, 2012

June Update

An update of sorts. As a family we are working on unpacking and dealing with bugs (spiders, ants and whatever else shows up) in our rental home. I'm not fully able to do household chores so I've tried to direct my husband and daughter how to do tasks that I would have normally took on myself. I've had to learn to not be so picky and let them learn how to do daily tasks. Letting go has not been easy and frustration creeps in when I look around. Tasks unfinished and so I try to do them or I end up complaining that I'm being ignored. I know there are things that they want to do and things I want to do but order is what I'm needing. Cleaning is not fun but as I know, having a clean ordered home makes for several days of enjoyment.

My blood pressure has been lower (95-115/ 58-76) and at times I have wanted to just sleep the day away. We lowered my medicine and for the past week I have been feeling better. We also changed two other meds a few weeks ago and so far doing well with no major side effects.I won't know how things are really going until August when have blood tests and doctor visits. I will also finally get to see a neurologist and hopefully get some therapy started to help focus on my issues. I'm still having issues of: balance, lack of feeling or full feeling, muscles spasms and tightness, pain mainly in shoulder/back, right hand function. Most of the issues go together or affect each other. With some feeling or lack of feeling, makes tasks harder like walking, exercises and fine motor function. I have almost full range of arm but small tasks with hand need work. I have a lot of pins and needles sensation and we are trying to work on my feeling. Almost every day my husband will mess with my hand and arm. He will touch different areas and ask me what do I feel when not looking. This activity exercises my brain and requires me to think about what is going on. Part of recovering is to have repetitive sessions of feeling activities. I'm hoping that one day I will not only feel in muscles but the outside skin feeling also. We have seen small improvements in my hand and fingers. I now can almost tell which finger he is pulling on. Walking is still a work in process. I feel different muscles and every day something different but I am starting to feel my heel. We are hoping that these small improvements continue showing.

I'm not getting out as much as I was when we first moved here. I wish I could say that I could just up and go but that is not how I am. I have issues in the morning with waking up and my throat. Another issue that came after having the stroke but not for almost a year. Then my pills, one with two meals and one for breakfast and one for dinner. A new routine (one has to be 30 minutes before two meals) started a month ago that we are finally getting used to me taking but still can be a pain. I have to use my tray for some to make sure I have taken them because I forget very easily.

Not a full update but that's just part of what we are doing. I thank the Lord for every day that is given to me. I'm reading my bible all the way through for the first time. I'm a little more than half way but every day is great to read a few chapters and think about what God has said. I'm in the book of Isaiah and just recently read chapter 53. Written before Jesus but about Him. Read it sometime.

May you have a wonderful weekend.

Friday, June 22, 2012

TSMSS - Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling

Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling performed by Anne Murray

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

Monday, May 28, 2012

May 28, 2012

Lovely view from Melbourne Beach, Florida

Hi my friends! I hope all is well with you and if not, may you find relief, comfort, in the arms of the Lord. He is our refuge and strength. (Psalm 46)

Words have come and gone, quicker then I can write them down. So what are we doing lately? Not a whole lot. Our time has included spending time together as a family unit, learning to manage the changes from moving, the challenges of my daily care but also getting our medical started in a new place and then there is school and ending quite well for moving and dealing with new ways of schools and teachers.

We made changes to the rental house (put in a hand rail on side of bath tub and my chair, added a step in garage with a hand rail) so that I am a little at ease but still dependent again for a lot of things that I need to work on and to feel more independent. We have had a semi-rough transition but we will get there in time.

Part of this journey I'm dealing with - what am I doing, what am I to do and where do I fit in to society, community and even family. For the most part I have been studying/reading my bible and really eager to learn and change my ways which can be a real struggle but I know this process takes His help in learning His ways. I have used Facebook to increase my faith through prayer and reaching out to share Jesus' love with others. I struggle with jealousy at times because I'm not fully functional however I'm learning.

This month is stroke awareness month and I have the need to share with others the signs (include face drooping, loss of feeling/function of arms and legs, slurred speech, vision loss and blur) and the need to act quickly in getting help. I am not perfect so please forgive me for not writing sooner.

Please also pray for our nation and that the Lord have mercy on us. This is an important time for us here in America and we need to get back on track.

Many hugs to all!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

God's Word

"When I shut up heaven and there is no rain,
 or command the locusts to devour the land,
 or send pestilence among My people,
if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves,
 and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways,
 then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place."
2 Chronicles 7:13-15 NKJV

I pray for our nation and the people He has called to Him, that we pray and seek His face, turning from the wicked ways that are against God so that His eyes will be opened and He hears our prayers. God is a forgiving God when we humbly ask and turn from the sin in our life.

"Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.
 No one comes to the Father except through Me." 
John 14:6 NKJV

Only through Jesus Christ will we be saved and have eternal life with God. 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wings Like Eagles

"Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31 NKJV

Monday, April 2, 2012

The A word and others

All of a sudden your dreams and all the plans came to a screeching halt. Your body as you knew it is no longer the same. What you thought you could do was no longer what you were capable of doing. For me, at first, was amazement and in awe of what I was feeling (or not feeling) on the right side of my body. The shock was still present so I was going on as if nothing had really happened. That I would wake up from this horrible dream and learn what I needed to know going forward with a happy life as before. Shock and trying to listen to what the doctors, nurses and even those that were therapists, making objectives to be fun and should be back to normal in 6 months or so they thought because of my progression I had while in the first hospital. All this in 2 weeks - shock, sadness kicked in at night when I was alone after my fiance' had to go back to our state 6 hours away. I can do this I thought, whatever is thrown at me. Then the A word started to sneak in a few weeks later after coming back home to being stuck in another hospital. Anger - it's just beginning to peek from it's corner of the boxing ring.

Oh the first year was full of emotion but Anger really hit and hit hard the first 6 months and maybe longer. Even now I have to watch my temper and anxiety level when dealing with change and challenges. There are so many examples but they hurt too much. I was angry and screaming inside sometimes not understanding what was happening. I made messes, throwing things, hitting myself, letting whatever come out of my mouth just flow instead of biting my tongue, hurt others with words and really was not in a good place. I couldn't even form the right words to apologize even though inside I was hurting to stop and crying so much that I acted out so horribly. Even when I tried to apologize the words still screwed up. Oh how I wish things had not happened. I hope that one day those that I hurt will be able to forgive me fully and come to understand why I acted the way I did.

When something traumatic happens to your life or your body, so many emotions come flying at you from all over the place and not exactly at the same time. Those emotions and feelings were stronger than any other time before my stroke and trying to process everything that had happened has been hard at times. What I learned over the last two years and still learning cannot be easy to write. Some of those times were really dark and lonely but I never was alone. The light that shines from God's word has cleared away some of the darkness and I thank the Lord for allowing me this life here, for forgiveness of Sins and restoring of His relationship as well as others. God's word is truth and His desire for our lives. Jesus dealt with temptation including anger but He did not sin. Thank you Jesus for showing us that we can be angry but not sin.

"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest
 who has passed through the heavens,
 Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.
  For we do not have a High Priest
 who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses,
 but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,
 that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Hebrews 4:14-16

Saturday, March 31, 2012

TSMSS - Can't Take The Pain

Cover of Third Day's "Can't take the Pain" by Jesse Chasteen
 of Setting Fires

No, I didn't see this one coming
It suddenly snuck up on me

I can't say you didn't tell me so
I can't say you didn't warn me
I can't take the pain of knowing that I left You
I can't bear the shame of knowing I was wrong
But I'll take the blame for everything that I've done
I can't take the pain of leaving you alone
Of leaving you alone

I was there when they accused you
but I guess I was too afraid
Not just once and not just twice
But three times I denied your name

I never thought I'd get even a second chance
But you've given that and so much more
And then for every time I ever did deny
You ask me if I love you, You know I do, Lord

So I'm off to follow in your steps
it won't be easy, it's safe to say
There are only two roads I can walk on down
The road less traveled is the one you paved

Lord, You took the pain even though I left You
And You took the shame and You made it all Your own
Why'd you take the blame for everything that I've done?
Lord, You took the pain
You and You alone, You and You alone

John 18-19 

Praising God!
Visit Amy's post here and join with us!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Spring Break

I hope all is well with you. This week we are having spring break for our public schools in our area. As much as I would like to plan some fun activities, we are still working on getting boxes unpacked and arranging items so I can help more. We are finding that Oklahoma schools are definitely not on same track as Florida schools. This week we are trying to catch up and help our daughter learn what she will need to know for Florida's FCAT (the testing that seems to have a major impact on whether they pass or fail). I am trying not to get frustrated that we just moved and this test is in a few weeks. We will see how it goes and keep praying that all works out so that our daughter will go to fourth grade this fall. She has never had a major test before now.

Our washer and dryer were delivered this morning. We went yesterday to pick a set out and so my challenge for the day was shower, dress, eat, take pills, get everyone out the door and go to the appliance store. Walking around is getting easier (some) but still working on timing. We walked in the store and immediately was greeted by a salesman. He showed us some models that were right in front. They weren't too expensive but still well over my budget. I was praying while I walked to "behind the curtain" that we would find something less expensive but workable for me. We did!  Praise God!

By the time we got to the counter my legs had already started a small pain but I knew this was temporary. We finalized the paperwork and in less than 24 hours we now have them in our garage. The guy hooked all the hoses and now I need to get our laundry started. Standing takes more out of me than walking. As long as I keep walking I do a little better but I know in time I will have more energy. Thanking God for the great weather and the ability to walk when I need to walk.
I do have some posts that I am working on writing. Some are hard to write but I want to share what I go through and help others understand.

I hope you have a great week/weekend! More later!

"Therefore we do not lose heart.
 Even though our outward man is perishing,
 yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment,
 is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
 while we do not look at the things which are seen,
 but at the things which are not seen.
 For the things which are seen are temporary,
 but the things which are not seen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NKJV

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Balance (many different ways)

       When I was thinking about what to write about, the topic "balance" came to the front of my mind. This is an area that I struggle in during my recovery (even before my stroke). The first time I was asked to walk after I had my stroke was really scary for me. I lost all my feeling on my right side. I couldn't tell when anyone was touching me, my feet, my leg, my shoulder or even brushing my hair on my right side. I felt like I was split in two, right down the middle. So trying to get my right leg and foot to cooperate was a challenge. It took 3 people to help me up and stay with me. They tried a walker with me but my right hand would not hold on and my right foot kept turning on it's right side. I had to have my right hand strapped to the walker. I made a few steps and within a week I walked out of my room to the door of the room next door. It was not a pretty sight trying to walk and I had to use something to remind me to balance.
        Even now my balance can be off but luckily I use a 4-prong cane instead of a walker. I even have lucky days of walking around the house without my cane or just the single prong cane. I think I can do this! My right foot doesn't turn up on the right side anymore and if I concentrate I can move with ease. My gait, rate and way of movement, is slow and have to remind my foot "heel to toe" when walking forward. I am still missing a good part of feeling in my foot and leg. I have realized during my walks that I do better when I can tell the presence of my leg and foot. Knowing is half the battle and getting my muscles to not tighten up is the other. While I try to focus there is a lot going on in my mind, around me and that can make my balance and me come to a stop. Oh the things we don't even think about when we can just walk!

         The other part of balance is our way of life. I have to balance my time between family, friends and for myself. I struggled with time way before my stroke. Some days I was really selfish and wanted to do what I wanted instead of spending time with loved ones. Other days I let people and objects take up too much time. Balance in relationships are needed too. Not only for our health and needs but also for the other person. I struggle with communicating my needs especially social needs and health needs. I always could do what I needed before my stroke but not now.
        The biggest thing I missed out on before my stroke was God, spending time with Him and reading His word. I allowed the computer and cell phone to become more important then God. There were times that I pushed Him to the side and I thought I could do better. Now I want and need more balance in my life. I could not get where I am today without His love and forgiveness. To forgive myself too.

I leave this verse with you today.
"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,
 and the truth is not in us.
 If we confess our sins,
 He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and
 to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
  If we say that we have not sinned,
 we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us."
1 John 1:8-10 (NKJV)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Opening Up (or trying)

It's been over a year since I started this blog. I never really knew what I would write after I wrote about what happened 28 months ago. Yes I had a stroke but I still think there is so much to tell and maybe I will find the words to share. Some topics are easier to share but some have been really personal. Only my husband has really seen and been through everything with me. The ups, the therapy sessions and the ugly parts that I really wish went away. However, it's in the dark times that God's grace and light really shine. He is not through with me or any of those around me. My faith in Him and belief in Him has become really strong but the Lord is the only way I could work through all the issues that come up with family, recovery and every day.
So, with all that said, over the next few weeks I am going to try to "open up" and share what this journey we are on has entailed. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

March 1st

I hope you all are doing well and looking forward. We have finally moved and getting settled in our new place. Moving has been the most challenging event for me since my stroke. The frustrations and anxiety increased over the weeks of packing, making decisions and the move itself. However, God is so faithful and having reminders along the way helped me endure all that we had to do. The trip itself was long 4 days of traveling from Oklahoma to Florida. Our truck was fully packed so we had to watch the roads carefully. Thankfully nothing major happened and we arrived just in time to have friends help us unload the truck, within 15 minutes of us stopping at new home.

Half way into our trip there was a big white cross lit up on a hill near the interstate in between Mississippi and Alabama. I wish I had pictures but it was a great reminder of Jesus and all God has done for us. Yes we were tired and ready to rest but we kept on another 2 hours before stopping.

Many of you know that I had a stroke and still recovering. This trip gave me a glimpse of what I can do and has helped me greatly. I had to get in and out of the truck at stops relying on my right side more, grabbing the handle and pulling myself up, walking more and trying all I could. There are firsts for me - a trip, bath in a tub without much assistance oh was wonderful! but scary and my knees hurt when trying to get up, having the energy to go places (hope this continues) and now living in a 1 story place, walking around Target to get what we need for new place (can do about 20-30 minutes). I still have to be careful while trying to do things as I have balance issues along with limited feeling on right side but wow what a week!

More later. Have a great day! God bless!