Thursday, February 24, 2011

Piano Fingers

When I was first born my dad said I had "Piano Fingers". I grew up with family that loved music, playing different instruments from bass drum to violin, to piano/organ along with singing. My first picture taken at the piano I was 3. If I had a scanner I would post it. By age 7, I loved the piano and wanted to play more and more. My aunt Martha took me by the hand and started teaching me. All through my childhood I kept at playing but mainly playing around. I sang more than I played. These are my talented gifts God gave me. To sing and play. Even though now, I have to re-train my vocal chords and throat muscles along with my fingers on my right hand, I still have my love for music. The other day, my husband fixed up my keyboard so I could try to play. I was excited to try and promised not to get frustrated. We didn't know how my right hand would take to moving across the piano keys. A little messy, three of my fingers wanted to hit more keys together, I managed to play chopsticks and a little bit of Für Elise by Beethoven. One of my therapist told me about another patient who used the piano and did very well at progressing. I will practice more but very happy to have this determination.

Here is one of my favorite classical pieces:

Not only do I like classical music I have many songs that I like but too many favorites. I wanted to share two more that have recently brought back memories. The first is "Pass It On" that I played a lot my teen years. Wanting to pass on God's love to everyone. The second song is a song I sang with a group in 2003-2004, "Shout to The Lord" which has been sung by many artists. I don't have a video of me but maybe sometime I will share.

Thanks for reading. May God bless you. Have a great day!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Random Pictures

Since my blog is fairly new I thought I would share a few pictures that I have of last year and 2009. We are not a photo family or at least not as much as I would like. Memories!

Terel (Hubby) and I visit/dating 2009

Terel and Krista (daughter) during one of his visits 2009
Me and my cane Summer 2010

Halloween - Krista being a cat princess and me

Fluid Therapy in a box of sand to help movement and feelings... nice and warm
Therapy - Fall 2010   

Ryu and Misty our family cats

Pictures are pictures and don't tell a whole story but I wanted to share a few of our journey together. I am thankful to God for allowing more time with my family. In the first two pictures were just the beginning of our family. We did not know what we were going to go through a couple months down the road. However, we are together, a family, making the best of life, together with the Lord's help.

Thanks for reading. May you have a wonderful blessed day!

Psalm 19

"THE HEAVENS declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork. Day after day pours forth speech, and night after night shows forth knowledge. 
There is no speech nor spoken word [from the stars]; 
their voice is not heard.
   Yet their voice [in evidence] goes out through all the earth, 
their sayings to the end of the world. 
Of the heavens has God made a tent for the sun,
    Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber; 
and it rejoices as a strong man to run his course.
    Its going forth is from the end of the heavens, 
and its circuit to the ends of it; 
and nothing [yes, no one] is hidden from the heat of it.
    The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the [whole] person; 
the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.
    The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; 
the commandment of the Lord is pure and bright, enlightening the eyes.
    The [reverent] fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; 
the ordinances of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
    More to be desired are they than gold, even than much fine gold; 
they are sweeter also than honey and drippings from the honeycomb.
    Moreover, by them is Your servant warned 
(reminded, illuminated, and instructed); 
and in keeping them there is great reward.
    Who can discern his lapses and errors? 
Clear me from hidden [and unconscious] faults.
    Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; 
let them not have dominion over me! 
Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent and clear of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, 
O Lord, my [firm, impenetrable] Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:1-14 Amp

Oh Father, how thankful I am for Your ordinances. May they stay on my lips and in my mind. For Your instruction and warnings are so needed. Keep me away from temptations. May my words in all forms be to Your glory and delight You, my Lord and Savior.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Tough Times

This post is short. Sometimes life has issues but glad I can go to the Lord with them.
I have a cardiologist appointment tomorrow for a follow up. On three blood pressure medicines and doing ok but my energy has really gone down hill. I am exhausted and have not done much. I think part weather, not getting out of our apartment and lack of motive. So will have a talk tomorrow to see whats up.
We did get on a waiting list for housing on base where my husband works. It will be a blessing as all downstairs, can get around better (no stairs) so can walk more often and have a yard too. Still the time frame is about 6-9 months but I'm happy for change.
Hope to start therapy again soon which will get me out of this place.
Have to schedule another dr. appointment as having issues with my throat which started with a cold this past Thanksgiving and was random but not all the time. Now everyday issues which make me not eat as much or drink.. not good.
More later.. Praising God for each day!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

It's Crazy!

Bang Bang bang bang (pause) Bang bang drills hammers
All from the roof which has been soft off and on for the last 6 months or so and today very loud. Our apartment complex had damage last spring from a very hard hail storm. Before the newness can happen the old shingles had to be taken off. Today is our day to get a new roof.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

Newness, not recovery, not patch work, completely new!
I sometimes wonder what sounds are really going through my head when new connections are being formed. My stroke left some damage on the left side of my brain. New connections are being formed, some almost instant from day 1 and some taking this long to not even being close. The newness of roofs have taken some time to have our whole complex with new roofs but there have been interruptions. Funding, supplies to bad snow storms and others I probably do not know about. Sometimes I wonder what interruptions am I having but not anymore. It's crazy!! New!!

New Beginning
I started this blog to tell of my stroke and how my life has changed, the good and the bad, but wanted to talk more about the recovery to get back to "normal" or what I perceived as normal. The more I write and think, the more I don't see this time as recovery. Not recovery, new growth. Do I want to recover the past, for me, no! Yes, I would be lying if I said I didn't want functions on my right side, didn't want to type, etc.. I do but if I focus as recovering the past, I cannot move forward. One of the issues with strokes for most of us, is we loose a part of us. When you have a loss there is a grief process, mourning the loss and moving forward with a new "normal" and anything else is a bonus. Just as grieving for the loss of a family member or best friend, the process can take time, even years. I still have moments missing my grandmother, our rock, 9 years ago, can't wait to see her! but still miss her from time to time. A process...
My right hand was my buddy, my pal, my best friend, my worker. 10-key skills, typing skills, playing piano, sign language, my holder, turner, my main squeeze.
She is a loss.
My right leg, strong, walked, ran, climbed, was there always catching me, my support.
She is a loss.
Not recovery, New Growth!! As a baby, a toddler, learning to grasp, walk, feed, to feel, hot, cold, soft, hard. Newness! Excitement! Building a foundation to continue with in life. That's what I want... the past behind, new and exciting adventures ahead. As new believers, learning to walk and talk as Jesus, sharing His love with you! Excited for the fire within me! Jesus stirring! It's crazy!! I want to share with you!! Jesus wanted to share with others. He died for us, for our sins, paid a price, For Us!! something that we could never pay! New Growth within us to be more like Him. He is the only reason I am where I am today. He mends, our healer but He also helps us know what we do wrong.

New!! Following Jesus!! New Growth!! Won't you follow Jesus today? Accept Him into your heart today. To get the past behind, any hurts, any pain, anything that needs mending. He wants to have a personal relationship that goes on with everlasting life. He loves you! 

Email me if you want to know more:

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Husband's Love

He opens the sticky door to their apartment. She slowly takes steps, one at a time, watching the floor, the welcome mat, the slight bump to the outside. He takes her cane and goes down the steps while she looks and watches him. She patiently waits at the top step, not holding anything but the rail is there waiting for her. He rushes up the stairs, wanting to be right with her.
She smiles.

She says "Ready?" He says "Yes" She takes her step, right foot first then left foot right beside the right. Again, right foot first then left foot, holding the rail with her left hand to steady herself. One step at a time. He is right in front of her, taking one step backwards with each of hers. Almost as a dance but she leads the pace. Fourteen steps, one at a time. Some days slow and some days faster. He gives her a kiss when they get to the last step. He grabs the cane with four feet and hands it to her. She places her small hand on the cane and continues to walk down the path. The wind blowing in her ponytail and she hopes that the wind does not blow her down. She steadies herself and he waits.

They arrive at the car, he opens the door, she gets in with ease and he puts the cane on the back seat. He helps her buckle the seat belt, sometimes help not needed but today she needs him. She says "Thank you." She looks out the window amazed at how the world looks different outside than from their apartment window. When they go anywhere she wants to look at everything. Most of the time he is taking her to doctor visits and therapy lessons. He took her on a few adventures to a restaurant, the mall and to church, all on good days. He is always making sure she is safe. Today it is just a ride. He leans over and kisses her while stopped at a busy stop light.

They come back to their apartment and the routine starts again. Grab the cane, open the door, wait patiently as she stands up and places her cane in her left hand. One day he will be able to hold her hand instead. For now, it is wait, watch, protect, be her support. Up the stairs, one step at a time, left foot first, then right foot, left hand reaching across to grab the rail, right hand tries but lets go. He is right behind her, walking one step at a time. He opens the door after reaching the top and watches her walk over the bump, the mat onto the carpet. Whew they are home.

I love my husband. All he does for me and our family. The cooking, cleaning, laundry, the cats needs, homework for daughter, making sure we have our medicines, and much more. All the things I use to do he has picked up. Not everything gets done but I've learned that life is so much more than a clean house. He calms me down and helps me when I need help. Not a traditional family setup but one that works for us. He knows I still have issues but he loves me still. Thank You Father for my husband!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

More Snow!

                                  Wow! Time sure has gone by since my last post. I do not know where it went. *looks around* Nope no sign of the last 5 days!
We have more snow coming tonight. The news has said that we will have bad roads the next few days and wind chills well below zero. A repeat from last week. My daughter keeps asking "Is school out? I think they just said school is closed. Is it?" and we keep telling her that we are waiting. Waiting... something we do a good bit for many things in life.

                                  I try not to worry and sometimes I might talk about something but don't feel like I'm worried. Waiting can be difficult, especially on decisions that will be made in the months to come, things that might or might not happen. I'm learning more how everything ties together: worry, waiting, fear, tension, and different situations. Only through God's word can I learn how He views aspects of life. I am making my list and will post some later. Yesterday this verse stood out in several e-mails and blogs.

"Fear not, for I am with you;
      Be not dismayed, for I
am your God.
      I will strengthen you,
      Yes, I will help you,
      I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

I pray that you all have a good week no matter what is going on around you! Hugs to all!

P.S. Don't mind the mess my blog is going through some changes.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Weather and stuff...

                We have had some really cold weather. While our apartment has good heat most of the time, there are moments that we are all cold, usually in the mornings when we come to the main part for breakfast.
                One of the issues that can appear with a stroke or after is a pins and needles sensation where the feeling is trying to come back. Most people have experienced their foot falling asleep when you sat on your leg too long. You try to "wake" your foot up by walking around and sometimes this can be painful. For me, this is daily since my stroke. My nerves are still writing and trying to connect. Some days are better then others and this sensation can be really neat at first when the pain level is low. When I wasn't feeling at all nothing was there but as time goes along the sensations are coming back. I say "zapping" and say that the feeling is "amplified" very intense but it comes and goes. If my eyes are following my hand or foot I can almost say "I feel the carpet" or "The material feels the same as my left hand" but the moment I take away my sight I have a hard time figuring out what I am touching. My husband helps me with lotion on my feet and let me tell you, if I do not watch him while he rubs my right foot my muscles take over. The sensation can be too much and my foot jerks away sometimes almost hitting him. We just laugh but at times I have sharp pains that accompany the movement. On the bad days my toes feel like they are going to burst out of the skin or my fingers. Not fun but I can't complain (I try not to!) even if my walking is affected. I keep going and work the muscles the best I can. One day I will have my sensation back. I have had glimpses of being able to really feel and felt great but they are small right now. The weather has not helped. My muscles are really tight. I don't feel like doing anything but lay in bed. I have to rest more and make myself do what I can. I'm glad to come sit at the computer and spend a little time with you all.

Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever. Psalm 136:1 NKJV

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

What a night/day! Welcome February 1st!

                     I am not used to this weather. I was raised in South Carolina (some cold/sleet/ice/snow) and Florida (maybe in the 30's). We have had some cold temperature this winter season but nothing like last night and today. We are living in Oklahoma City right now and wow! We are in single digits and starting to get into below zero the next few nights. All started yesterday with light freezing rain and some snow. Within 24 hours we have had almost a foot of snow and snow drifts of 3-4' maybe higher in some places. Wind chills have reached -10 and will be continuing the next few days. We are cold so everyone has bundled up with sweaters, long pants and socks. Even hubby had a sweater on! My muscles on my right side have been really tense and cramping. Makes walking and daily activities more challenging.
                     I have my hot chocolate in a mug with patchwork paint like a quilt and wanted to share a few photos that I took earlier today. Nothing special as I took from my phone.

 This is a view shot from our kitchen. Lovely snow! Someone actually left a few spots over, getting stuck several times. Hope they are safe as it was still snowing and blizzard winds.

I was sitting at the dining room table when I took this one. Misty, our cutey calico cat, was sitting behind the rocker watching the snow. This is our porch/balcony that has a snow drift pile. All our screens have snow in them, fun, fun! You can feel the coldness coming through the windows. Hubby put some towels around to try and buffer some of the cold.
While my daughter was doing her homework, I did some reading of God's word in Jeremiah. I started the second half this week and needed to go over Chapter 24. All about the parable of Good Figs and Bad Figs. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had invaded and captured many of the people in Jerusalem. These people were the Good Figs. Anyone left in Jerusalem and Judah were the Bad Figs. God planned this for His people. He saved some to bring them back later, to build up, to plant, to give them a heart to know Him. (Jer. 24:5-7) How amazing, that God saved some from Jerusalem to return to Him! The people during this time were not good, they didn't deserve His love. He still saved them for a plan and a purpose. Now for the Bad Figs, the ones that He did not allow to be captive, they will not be saved as they were so bad. Vs. 8. They had turned their back, not even attempting to worship Him. Look what is to come of them: "I will deliver them to trouble into all the kingdoms of the earth, for their harm, to be a reproach and a byword, a taunt and a curse, in all places where I shall drive them. 10 And I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence among them, till they are consumed from the land that I gave to them and their fathers.’” Jer. (24:9-10) If this can happen then, if God can do this destruction then.. I'm sure He can do the same to anyone! Sword, fighting, war, famine, drought, lack of food, pestilence, disease, sickness...
Where do you think you would have been placed if this happened today? Would you have been a part of the Bad Figs that were completely or almost all the way turned against God? or would you be a Good Fig, one that worshiped God but still needed to grow and deal with issues? That's where I would want to be.
I'm not going to go into details about all that has happened during this time but if you want to know more about this time and the prophet Jeremiah, read this book in the bible, Jeremiah. 2 Kings 22-25 also shares the history around the time of Jeremiah. If you have any questions and do not wish to post a comment, you may e-mail me at and I will try to answer or help you in any way I can. Thanks for reading!