Reflection

a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration, a thought occurring in consideration or meditation. Just a thought.
2009-2010 had lots happen and some good, some bad, but they happened. Part of reflecting on the past is to move forward. Part is to remember and part is to forgive, yourself and others. A time to give thanks to the Lord. During this time I learned that I needed to be content in all as Paul. (Philippians 4:4-13) Rejoicing, thanking God, prayer and requests.
After I had my stroke I can truly say that my life has changed. Not only physically, mentally but spiritually. I can admit that I did a lot of mistakes in my before life. Living in my own time, my own way, my own..me me me. Thank God for working in me, for being faithful, loving, and never totally leaving me!
This last year has been my most challenging but yet there is part of me that would not change a bit. God needs His miracles for others to see, hear, share His love, show His love and in that I am thankful to be a part of His plan.
Some thoughts:

1. My husband who married me after my stroke by my request to not live in sin of not being married. While we were separated due to my hospital stay the holy spirit spoke, to keep this relationship, living together, must be married or move back to parents. Very strong "No, you are not going to do as your past" Thank you Father!

2. The Lord pulled me closer to Him. I am not perfect, no one is, He still has work on me.

3. I went from not being able to feel touch on my right side, nothing, from head to toe, to as of now, 1/25/2011, I can feel pressure, some textures stand out more then others and I have awareness of muscles and where my foot, leg, arm is almost all the time. I can now feel someone touching my shoulder or standing on my foot as my daughter likes to see what I feel. I remember when she said, "Mom, you felt me" when I looked in her direction while she touched my shoulder. Amazes me almost everyday what feels the same.

4. I went from wheelchair to walker, 3/2010 to 4-prong cane 4/2010. I still have balance issues but by God's strength I have not fallen. Scary but funny when I lean to far to right. I have to laugh so I can get past and regain strength, balance and composure especially when embarrassed. Some days I can walk around the house without cane but need walls, furniture to help and I can be slow at times.

5. I still have some throat issues when it is cold and dry. A very sensitive gag reflex when dry. Some of the things that get better as weather warms up. Not fun! Especially if I just ate.. you get the picture?

6. I have to remember that not everything will change over night. Takes hard work, therapy and time. God healed me now it is my turn to make those muscles work.

7. One issue that I have to deal with is tight muscles, muscles that like to go one way when I want to go another. Started about May or June 2010. Somewhat a set back, writing and things with hand are much harder, much painful. Walking can be difficult. More later on Spasticity.

8. Type with my left hand! Almost always. I use one finger on right hand and practice trying to use hand with mouse, hard when fingers don't want to work. They like to push more than one button. Can get frustrating but I keep trying.
9. Thankful for sight, hearing, and ability to think. My memory is pretty good except when I push things away.

10. My last thought for now, my music. One of my past hobbies.. Playing the piano and singing. Oh how I miss the piano and one day I will get there! Singing has taken practice but so thankful!! that I am getting my voice back, relearning pitch and tone. As long as I keep practicing I will get better!

May you have a great day no matter what and may God continue to work on you.
"And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD" 1 Chronicles 28:20